Dear Mr. Stewart (we now fondly refer to you as "Itchy"),
It has come to my understanding that you have an issue. I'm not sure what the exact problem is, and I'm not sure you are even aware of your problem. There are, after all, thousands of fans watching you every day and that has not deterred you. 
I Googled your salary info and it is reported as $404,000 for 2009. Now I know this is meager for MLB standards, but I'm sure it'll buy you some cream, or perhaps a better fitting cup.
We were impressed with the 3 homeruns you hit in the 2 games we attended, but honey, I don't think this is your magic genie.
Try to remember that there are impressionable children at the ballpark. Cute little girls with pink mitts shouldn't have to watch this.
Once we became aware of your situation we were curious. So we counted. In one SHORT, I'm talking 3 up, 3 down inning......39 TIMES!! 
Surely your mother has mentioned this to you. It's not even just itching. There was definite cupage. And rubbing. Ew.
In closing, I'd just like to say that I'm thankful I don't have to do your laundry. And please, get that looked at. Your self examination is just not cutting it.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Itchy
Posted by Cammee at 8:35 AM
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8 Comments:
I am so glad that I am the first to comment on this... I am laughing so hard, I can't breath!!! I love it!
You crack me up!!! We have a boy on our team that has the same problem. I wonder if his favorite player might just be Ian Stewart. Hmmm......Makes me think! Now I just might have to keep a tally of how many times he does that. Wonder if he can beat 39 in 3 outs.
I'm on a break from Grandma's and I needed a good laugh, thanks! (It's going to make me laugh all afternoon when I think of it too!) Sort of like tv re-running all those Michael Jackson songs/dances - forgot how he always thought he needed to grab himself too in front of millions - what the heck is that all about boys??
What a fabulous start to my day Cammee - I haven't laughed this hard in ages!!!! You should be a comedy writer.
I am wondering if Amy Butler has a great pattern for a jock cover or something? :) Maybe it would be made out of that minki fabric! Aren't baseball players great?!
Oh my!! Can't breathe!! Thank you for that. It's a perfect way to start my day. You are too funny!
Hey, we went and saw Up this weekend. Absolutely adorable!! LOVED it.
Cammee - this is hilarious. I clicked on your blog because I couldn't find your email address and laughed my guts out at this post.
Anyway, since I couldn't find your email address I still had to tell you that I tried the Apple Cider Pudding Cake recipe you gave me and it was amazing. I am posting about it in a few weeks. Loved it. Thank you!!
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